I’ve come a long way with my psoriasis, I use to living in silence and fear. I used to be deathly afraid of what people thought of me, although this is still a bit of an issue, I’m better! I’ve changed SO much since 2011. I openly talk about psoriasis, I’m an advocate for other patients, and I am PROUD to be living in my purpose. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be doing this, EVER.
But with all that said I would like to be transparent and to share with you all, I still am INSECURE. In the last 4 years, my psoriasis has improved drastically due to various treatments. However, most recently my medicine stopped working and my psoriasis is taking my body hostage. Often times I encounter others with psoriasis who ask me where I find the strength to be so open about my disease and to share my story. I need you all to know I still constantly battle with my condition and the standards of beauty. I still hide my arms and legs when I’m in public and I have a flare… I’m always paranoid that someone is judging me when they see my skin… I still fear people will think I’m contagious… I still get depressed when I want to wear certain things but use not to, not because I’m ashamed of my psoriasis, but because I don’t feel like dealing with the stares and questions.
Sometimes I feel bad that I’m not as comfortable showing my condition in public like some of my psoriasis family. There are moments I think to myself, as long as I’ve been doing advocacy I should be more comfortable with my disease. If you are dealing with similar thoughts my encouragement to you is to be kind, be gentle, and be loving to yourself. You are right where you need to be and if you aspire to be or feel something different, just know there are still some lessons you need to learn as your current self. Celebrate the small victories and be proud you aren’t who you use to be. Remember, your story is special so your battles, struggles, and victories will be unique.